Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just pee around me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
