I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
