Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
