Need sex. Gaining weight.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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