McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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