I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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