the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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