omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize