i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize