i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
