Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize