I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
