we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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