nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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