I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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