i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize