This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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