If that was your dad, he is hot
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
