i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
