I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
