You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize