My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize