i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
