this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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