I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
