I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize