I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
