mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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