Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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