drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
