How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
