i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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