I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
