I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize