seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
