even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
