id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
