I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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