I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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