That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
