Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
