In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
