what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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