That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
