Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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