I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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