She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need water and some morals
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
