their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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