no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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