Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
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Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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