I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
