I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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