Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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